


Downpour/Unburden

by seraphium



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Gen, Kinda, Panic Attacks, Post-Season/Series 03, Pre-Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 03:31:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20369971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seraphium/pseuds/seraphium
Summary: Robin gets caught in the rain, walking home some time after Starcourt. Alone with her thoughts, she finds herself fixated on memories of the 4th of July.She isn't alone for long.





	Downpour/Unburden

Robin had barely left the video store when the rain began, and by the time she had turned the corner onto Bishop Street, which marked the half way point to home, she was soaked, clothes plastered to skin, the ponytail she was too lazy to take out hanging limp against the back of her neck. 

The shift she was leaving had felt longer and even more agonising than normal, filled with customers that seemed to alternate between being angry at her and hitting on her. It had also lacked the usual back and forth with Steve that kept her entertained throughout the day, so when she had left the video store, seen the way the clouds had darkened, she had hoped that it would hold long enough for her to get home. 

His absence (some family thing that couldn’t be avoided) was also the reason she was walking, as opposed to getting a ride with him. Even without the rain, she wouldn’t have enjoyed the walk, but with it, it quickly turned miserable. Still, it would hardly be the first time that she had walked home from work alone, and it wouldn’t be the last either.

She was glad for the friendship she had with Steve, but they had barely known each other before what had been termed the “Starcourt Incident” in the paper work she had had to sign, and he had been a little more preoccupied than usual in the weeks afterwards. It had been better after things had begun to calm down again, especially once she’d got them the job, but both of them had other friends, other requirements on their time. 

There was a part of her, small but not always easy to ignore, that was waiting for their time together to end, for Steve to realise that he was wasting his time, and for him to move onto to someone he actually had a chance with. The rest of her doubted that was going to happen, knew that Steve had done plenty to show he was sticking around, but even so, self-sufficiency had never hurt her before. 

He had actually asked her the day before if she would be okay getting home if he wasn’t around to give her a lift, which walked a careful line between being a little sweet and fairly patronising. It would have been fine if her bike hadn’t still been in the shop for repairs, but it had been, so she’d been stuck with the long walk home.

She would be fine, she told herself, shoes squelching beneath her. It would suck for the next half hour, and then the she would be home, which would be cold, and empty for at least another few hours, but would at least let her get dry, eat something, and then spend the rest of the evening listening to music in her room. Not a great day by any standard, but far from the worst she’d had. 

Robin shuddered. With the rain the way it was, it was easy to tell herself that it was the cold, and not the memory of the day that now held that position that made her shiver.

Thunder rang out behind her, and suddenly that fleeting reminder of the worst day was far closer to the surface than it had been a moment ago. 

She had often found herself wondering, in those first few days of waking up aching, and having to lie to her parents and friends about why she’d looked like shit, and where she’d been, and in the nights she would wake up sweating, dreams of bone saws and creatures with the texture of congealed flesh, whether or not she regretted getting involved. 

If she should have stayed with Dustin and Erica on that hill top, if she should have kept watch on the roof while the others investigated the secret room, if in that moment that began everything for her, she should have left Steve and his weird child friend to fail at translating some bizarre radio message. 

She hadn’t though. At every stage where she could have backed off, she had done the opposite, first out of boredom, then out of curiosity, and then. Loyalty? Bravery? That it had always seemed like the Right Thing to do? Maybe those memories would be easier to deal with if she knew better why she’d been there? Maybe they would be easier if she had actually done more while she had been there.

The rain had picked up, and her head was down to keep the worst of it out of her eyes, without much success. Her memory of that time, from when they had first realised they were trapped in the elevator, to when the military had arrived, was a mix of moments visible with such clarity that she wished she could forget them, and ones clouded in a haze (of drugs, or terror) that distorted them into something that she had no grasp on. 

The worst were a mixture of both. The sounds of the Russians that had been steadily approaching being batted aside, and the sight of their still bodies afterwards were vivid enough that she could recall every detail, from the screams that died quickly, to the sounds of impact that lasted only the briefest moment, to the way the pooling blood reflected the lights from the neon signs. But the moment of collision, the way they had fallen? It felt like every nightmare gave her another variation.

The memory that raised its head as she walked home, that repeated again and again, was of fleeing Starcourt, and the thing that had followed them. She had heard them talking about a monster, but seeing the fragment pulled out of El’s leg had done nothing to prepare her for seeing the thing itself, being chased by it. Even now, the memory of it was enough to make her arms fold tighter over her chest, for her pace to quicken slightly, for her to hunch her shoulders up and turn her head down towards the pavement. 

None of those things did anything to lessen the feeling that if she turned around, Robin would see that shape moving towards her through the rain. That she could feel the impact of its footsteps getting steadily closer. That the sound on the edge of audible was the screeching of something that wanted to kill her. 

One part of her, a more rational part, told that if she turned around, she would see nothing, hear nothing, feel nothing, because it was dead, and it was over, but that part of her had no answer to the truth she felt; that if she did turn around, and saw it looming over her, then it would be the last thing she ever saw. That she would die alone here, and leave no trace behind. She knew she would just keep walking, letting her momentum carry her forwards, feeling each impact on the soles of her flimsy shoes move her towards home, away from what loomed behind her. 

Her arms were so tight around her chest that she could feel the rapid thump of her heartbeat in her palm. Her mind was so focused on not looking, on trying to convince herself of something other than the doom she felt approaching, that she didn’t notice when she stepped into the body of water that filled the gutter. The first sign of the car coming towards her that registered was the glare of headlights, and then the horn blaring, and finally the screech of brakes. 

It was likely more the combination of the wet road, and the lack of any kind of grip on her shoes, then any quick reflexes on Robins part that meant she ended up on her ass in the middle of the road, instead of actually getting hit by the car. She’d managed to prop herself up on her elbows when the car backed up until it was level with her. The driver threw open the door, and Robin found herself staring up at Nancy Wheeler. 

Nancy Wheeler stared back, her expression shifting from one of anger, pausing briefly at confusion, stopping over at recognition, before settling finally on exasperation.   
“Robin?” Nancy’s voice was loud enough that she could hear it over the sound of the rain, but she couldn’t quite place it’s tone.

The swell of feeling that had driven her into the road caught her response in her throat.

She didn’t hear what Nancy said next. Lightening, and then thunder had Robin snapping her head away from the other girl, towards sound and light that was already fading by the time she was facing it. When she looked back, Nancy had climbed out of the car, and had taken a tentative step towards her. She managed to push herself to her feet, and again opened her mouth to say something sarcastic, to reassure this girl that she knew only from a distance, that she was fine.

The words didn’t come. Nancy looked at her, appraising, taking in every soaked stitch of clothing, all the barely suppressed panic written on her face.   
“Hey, get in.”  
Robin isn’t sure if it’s the way the other girl spoke, that didn’t leave room for any argument, the promise of a place to sit out of the rain, or just the memory of the last time Nancy told her to get in a car, but she stumbles round the front of the car, and pulls open the door. Nancy’s spread a towel over the seat and she almost collapses into it, pulling the door shut behind her. 

It takes her a moment before she realises that Nancy is looking at her, and does her best to meet the other girls gaze, ignoring the panicked feeling in her chest, the too fast thump of her heartbeat.

“Are you okay? Did something happen?” The tone of voice is softer than she expected, but behind the obvious sincerity, there’s an edge to the other girl’s words.

“Nothing. Nothing happened. And I’m. Fine.” It’s almost a reassurance to be able to tell someone that, but she still can’t bring herself to look. She pauses for a moment, watching the other girls face, searching for something in the way her eyes look back at her that would tell her how convincing she sounded. There’s no such sign, so Robin tries again. “Yeah. Totally fine. Peachy.”

A tension that she hadn’t noticed before leaves Nancy’s, and she raises an eyebrow, thankfully only making her suffer it a moment, before turning back to the road, and starting the car again. 

They turn the corner, and Robin can’t help but wonder if she’s ever used the word peachy before, to describe anything, least of all herself. Nancy doesn’t give her long to ruminate on that either, sparing her a sideways glance before she asks another question.

“So, the walking in front of cars is something you do normally?” She asks the question in a deliberate way, with a hint of playfulness to it that almost makes her laugh. It would probably have surprised her a little, before Starcourt, to hear the way she makes jokes. She’s not sure how much would really surprise her about Nancy Wheeler now. 

“Yeah, totally.” Her words are barely any firmer than last time so next, affecting her best impression of nonchalance, she venture’s “All the cool kids are doing it, I’m surprised you hadn’t already heard.”

“I didn’t think I met the criteria for ‘cool kid’.” She doesn’t look away from the road while she speaks. Robin finds herself staring, and takes the effort to pull her gaze away, and look forward out the windshield. 

A flash of light in the rear view mirror catches her attention, just as she opens her mouth to respond. The crack of thunder that follows twists the start of the words that had been leaving her mouth into a yelp, and has her heart keeping pace with the frantic movement of the windscreen wipers once more. 

“Robin, what’s wrong?” Nancy does turn to look at her this time, blue eyes filled with enough sympathy that Robin can’t bring herself to meet them. 

She tries to come up with what to say next to convince this girl she barely knows that she’s fine, and not at all panicking, and that she had a perfectly reasonable explanation for why she freaked out like she did. She’s not bad at this, she’s given a dozen deflections and small, convincing lies like this to her friends at soccer practice, or to her bandmates over the past few months. All of those excuses pass through her head, but none of them want to leave through her mouth, and it’s only partly because she knows Nancy wouldn’t believe any of them. 

“I. I want you to know, I get it.” Nancy speaks, voice gentle (if a little less steady than before), and saves her from having to try. Her eyes have turned away from her, are fixed on the road ahead again. “I was such a mess, after the first time, after Barb.”

It takes Robin a moment for the pieces to go together in her head, to connect the girl who had vanished two years ago, to the girl driving the car she’s currently sitting in. The next connection comes easier, but she lets Nancy continue before asking the question to confirm it. 

“I was seeing her everywhere, even though I knew she was dead. And when the lights flicker, or I hear something in the woods I… I get it.”

Robin watches the other girl swallow, and a quiet disturbed only by the engine, the windscreen wipers, and the rain on the car roof falls over them for a long moment.

“Did she get caught up in this? Did it have something to do with her…?” Her answer trails off, the word accident suddenly seeming a lot less believable. The scandal she had thought had claimed Barb’s life, seemed a lot more like a cover up, given what she knew now.

“Yeah. Yeah it did.” She pauses, and the emotion on her face is clear, more apparent than she’s ever seen. Then Nancy blinks, and while it isn’t gone, it’s far more controlled than it was. “Has Steve really not filled you in on everything?”

“No. We never really spend much time talking about ‘Everything’. We actually tend to avoid it, mostly. Easier to just talk about basically anything else.”

Nancy laughs, sharp and short, and then continues before Robin can figure out if she wants to ask what was so funny. “So what do you know? Just what you saw at Starcourt?”

Robin’s initial response is something sarcastic, but again, she can’t seem to find the snark that normally comes so easily. She isn’t sure if it’s just Nancy, or the stress of the day, or the chance to talk openly about the strange side of Hawkins that she’s only caught sight of this summer. Whatever the reason, it feels easy to be open here in the passenger seat of the car Nancy’s driving. 

“Pretty much. A couple of other things, I worked out or overheard, but yeah, mostly just Starcourt. Those military dudes made me sign a bunch of shit afterwards, about not talking about it, and then once they’d left again, it just seemed like it was always a bad time to ask.”

“Yeah, it’s not exactly easy to bring up in casual conversation. And about the Espionage Act agreements, you have to be careful about what you say, but only really to the people that don’t already know. Not legally speaking, but none of us are going to turn you in.”

“I don’t think I ever pictured you as the rebellious type.”

“I didn’t have much respect for authority left after the first time they got dozens of people killed. And men in suits don’t really scare me either anymore, not after nearly getting eaten by the demogorgon. Or the flayed.”

It’s in the silence that follows that Robin realises two things. One, that she has no idea where it is she’s being driven to, and two, that it’s totally irrelevant compared to the current conversation. Compared to the person she feels like she only just meeting.

“What are they? The flayed, and the other thing, the demogorgon?”

Nancy laughs, short and bitter. 

“You don’t know?”

“No one does. The government’s as clueless as we are, and it’s possible Eleven know something we don’t, but I don’t know if she could describe it to us. We think the flayed was probably just a fragment of the thing that tried to come through last time the gate was opened, but we don’t really know, not for sure, and it still doesn’t really help us, because we don’t know what that thing was either. ”

Robin takes a moment to process, spends it looking at the other girl, wondering how she’s coped with knowing so much, and so little at the same time. “So it’s not over?”

Nancy spares a moment to glance across at her, taking in the horror that Robin realises is apparent on her face, and then another moment to choose how to phrase her response. “I don’t know. The place these things are coming from, it’s still there. The gate’s closed again, but it’s been opened before. Sometimes I think that we’re done with it all. That the gates closed, and El’s powers are gone, and it’s over.”

There’s an edge to Nancy’s voice that Robin hadn’t heard before or since Starcourt, one that could never have come from the stuck up, strait laced girl she’d only known from a distance. That she hadn’t really known at all. “And the rest of the time?” 

“It feels like we’re just waiting around for some new awful thing to start.”

The sounds of the car moving through the rain seem even louder in the silence that follows.

Robin had never intended to stay in Hawkins, even if she hadn’t had any actual idea of where she would go, or how she would get there, but now it seems like less like a vague daydream, and more like a necessity, if she wants to survive.

“Has it got any easier? Dealing with this shit?”

“Maybe. We know a little more than before about the things that come from the upside down, enough to notice things earlier, and we know each other better, which helps. And we’ve got more experience trying to kill the things as well.”

It as much a surprise to Nancy as it is to Robin when she lets out a laugh at the statement. 

“Sorry, it’s just. Us, throwing fireworks at the giant spider, that was an improvement?”

“The first time Johnathan and I tried to kill one of them,” There’s a hint of the playfulness from earlier in her voice, the start of a smile on her lips. “We did it with the gun we stole from his dad’s car, and a baseball bat with nails hammered into it. Throwing fireworks is definitely an improvement.”

Apparently not even Robin’s image of the other girl as a sensible person was going to survive this car ride. The short breath of laughter, the mix of disbelief and judgement on her face were evidently clear enough that Nancy responded before she had a chance to comment. 

“Okay, it wasn’t that bad. We’d set a trap for it, and it wasn’t nearly as big as the thing in Starcourt either. That was how Steve got pulled into this. He showed up, trying to apologise to Johnathan about this fight that they’d had, just when we were waiting for it to arrive. He was so caught up in trying to say sorry, and then work out what was happening, that we couldn’t get him to leave before it climbed through the ceiling. He had even less idea of what was going on than we did.” 

There’s something that Robin can only place as nostalgic to Nancy’s voice when she speaks of it, but the story, in its own strange and kinda fucked up way, is almost funny. 

“He must have freaked out so bad.” Robin wonders how something so close to the terror that had seized her earlier, was something she could talk about almost casually now. 

“Yeah, he really did. But after, he came back and fought it anyway. He probably saved our lives.” There’s a note of admiration in Nancy’s voice, and a respect to it as well.

“Yeah.” There’s maybe a little of the same in Robin’s voice. “He’s alright.”

It’s in the moment of silence that follows, that Robin realises that the tension that had built and built till she’d walked out in front of a car isn’t present in her chest, so instead, before Nancy can get the wrong idea about that statement, she asks,  
“Does it ever get any less weird, that your life’s been saved, multiple times, by Steve “The Hair” Harrington?”

Nancy laughs, and Robin doesn’t quite know what to do with the feeling that curls at the bottom of her chest at the sound. 

“Not yet, but I’ll let you know if it does.”

The car pulls to a stop at an intersection, and Robin put’s the host of other questions she has aside for the more immediate concern. 

“Hey, not that I’m not grateful for the ride, but, where are we? Where are we going?”

Nancy turns to look at her, blinks. “Oh. I’m picking my brother up from Dustin’s. I meant to ask where you were heading. I might have forgotten to do that. I can drop you off afterwards, or on the way if you want?”

“It’s fine, I know you don’t want to be playing chauffeur for me. You can just drop me off where you picked me up.”

“You’re already in the car Robin, and I don’t mind driving a little further. Seriously.” Nancy see’s the reluctance on her face, and her expression loses the mock sternness. “Or if you really do want to walk back, then you can come back to mine, wait out the rain. I can even fill you in on some of the stuff you missed, if you feel like it.”

The prospect of satisfying her curiosity, of being able to answer some of the questions that had been stuck in her head since Starcourt was too good an opportunity to pass up. If she had other reasons for accepting, she didn’t think about them. 

“Sounds good.” She tries to keep her tone casual, or something close to it, if she can.

The car pulls to a stop outside what is presumably Dustin’s house, and Nancy turns to look at her. Robin wants to tell her things feel easier in half a dozen ways she hadn’t noticed had been disturbing her, that despite telling herself other wise, she would have been miserable if she’d had to walk home, and would have been even more miserable once she’d gotten there. That in all the times that panic has swept her up since Starcourt she’s never felt better afterwards, not like she does now.

“Thanks.” She says instead. “For the ride, and stuff.”

Nancy smiles, and there’s something in it, that makes Robin think maybe she got whatever it was she trying to say. 

“Anytime.”

Robin lets her gaze fall to the rear view mirror. The rain hasn’t stopped, but she can see nothing moving in the downpour.


End file.
